Keeping Up With the Roberts Family
Each month Cliff and Denise Roberts write home to their high desert family at New Life Fellowship to share all the happenings in their lives and their new church community. We look forward to posting their spiritual insights as they continue walking with the Lord in Lakeland, Tennessee.
July: . . . if you love one another
The first official “date” that Denise and I ever went on together was a trip to Craig Regional Park in Fullerton, CA. We drove some 90 minutes from Barstow to spend the day there, enjoying a picnic, card games, multiple long walks around the park (I eventually worked up the nerve to ask if I could hold her hand), and had a great time talking about I-have-no-idea-what for hours upon end. We agreed that she could plan the next date since I’d planned this one, and she chose a trip to the beach. Specifically, she wanted to walk along the beach at sunset and thought that would be an enjoyable and memorable experience. Well…it certainly was that. I don’t remember much about what we talked about that day either, but I do remember eating lunch on the beach in the wind and sand (neither of which adds a lot of positives to your picnic sandwich munching). I also remember getting a flat tire and sitting on the curb in a parking lot for an hour while it was being repaired. And finally, we did indeed return to the beach to freeze ourselves in the icy wind blowing even stronger now as we created our special sunset-along-the-beach moment. I remember laughing lots at the entire situation, joking about how I’d plan all the dates from now on, and joyfully commiserating with Denise about how much fun we had together.
In those early days of our relationship, we were discovering an important truth: who we’re with is far more important than what we’re doing. Our activities didn’t happen without planning, but sometimes our best plans went awry. I’m sure we talked about deep and important things (or at least they probably felt that way at the time), but while I don’t remember any of the specific words spoken, I do remember the person I spoke with. Being in love with Denise overshadowed every other priority and gave reason and significance to everything we did together. I had planned an excellent date experience, coordinated meals, entertainment, transportation, scheduled activities and the entire day—it was perfect! But the whole point of it was to spend time with Denise and to enjoy her company. Denise planned a general sense of something she thought would be nice to do at some point…and that was about it! No perfectly crafted moments, no itinerary, no maps, no real sense of time or coordinated activities, not even a board game!—just a desire to walk on the beach at sunset. Our day was filled with unexpected events and less-than-ideal circumstances, but the whole point was still the same: to spend time with me and to enjoy my company.
Sometimes, our plans and activities produced perfect days and special memories. Other times our best designs were thwarted by circumstances beyond our control. But again, whether perfectly planned or hopelessly upended, being together was always the point no matter what we ended up doing. When others witness Denise and me walking around a park, sitting on a curb waiting for a tire repair, or braving the bitter beach winds as the sun’s going down and we’re freezing our sand-covered toes off, I hope that what’s most evident is our love for one another. Yes, we might be at Costco stocking up on supplies for our small army at home, but do the people there know we love each other as I’m getting my workout with a shopping crate…er, “cart” while Denise “pit crews” me around the store? Although meat, socks and toilet paper sure seem like our present priorities, do others know we love each other by our words and deeds together?
———————————————
Almost a FOURTH of John’s Gospel focuses on the events in the Upper Room, the final moments Jesus would spend with His disciples before the cross. For five whole chapters, John records Jesus’ words about servanthood, loving each other, the Holy Spirit, abiding in Him, persecution and unity. Some of the Lord’s most consequential and personal words are spoken in these chapters to His closest friends. He also demonstrated for them in detailed personal ways things which no miracle would ever convince them of as effectively. He prayed aloud for them as His friends, washed each of their feet individually, talked with them and answered their questions, encouraging and warning them as He prepared them for what was about to happen. Jesus repeatedly told His disciples that they were His friends (Jn. 15:14-15), commanding them to love one another as friends even as far as laying their lives down for each other (Jn. 15:12-13,17). He could have laid out incredible plans for coordinating their future activities and their way forward as His Church. Instead, He spent the entire time showing them by His own example that the people sitting right next to them were far more important than the many exploits and demonstrations of faith they would eventually do.
John 13:35 has become a “life verse” for me in so many ways, but I’m still learning how to stop responding to Him as Peter did then. Judas has already left, and Jesus tells His remaining eleven friends that He won’t be with them much longer. He’s leaving to a place where they can’t follow Him, but before He goes, He says these words: “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you love one another.” (Jn. 13:34-35) And then Peter immediately asks Him, “Lord, where are You going?” Notice that he doesn’t respond with, “Lord, how do I love John, Thomas, James and the rest?” He doesn’t say, “Lord, show me how to love like You do.” Peter doesn’t even off up a simple, “Love? That’s the big answer?” No, Peter is so focused on what Jesus is about to do, where He’s about to go, that he blows right past the very people his Lord told him to prioritize.
Following Jesus around may have seemed like the most important life mission ever for Peter. After all, didn’t Jesus call His disciples to “Come, follow Me and I will make you fishers of men”? But these were Jesus’ friends, not His servants, and if they would learn to love each other, they would experience His presence in their midst even after He’d ascended into heaven. And beyond that, the world would witness that love and recognize that the intangible quality binding together this community of loving-one-another disciples was Jesus Himself, the One they were following by loving each other. You see, following Jesus is about loving our fellow disciples. And if we miss that, then we’ve stepped right past the focal point and zeroed in on a peripheral instead.
I remember being so convicted by the Lord one Sunday morning years ago. I’d blown past numerous people who wanted to pause and chat for a sec because I had so much service prep and ministry setup to get done. I was so busy “following Jesus” around the church building that I failed to love my friends. I missed it, and I didn’t even realize I was doing it until the Holy Spirit revealed it to me. Living in Tennessee has been eye-opening in that regard as well. It takes like an hour for the bug guy to finish spraying because he can’t stop chatting and sharing stories with me. Neighbors catch me in the yard and the next thing I know I haven’t mowed a blade of grass for the past 10 minutes because we’ve been talking shop the whole time. I invite friends over for board games and we don’t even get the game started on time because we’re catching up on all sorts of things instead of letting me explain the rules. Horror of horrors, I’ve even had friends over and we never got around to playing a game because we’re too busy hanging out! It’s gloriously unnerving and I love the fact that I’m growing in that regard. I can only laugh at myself and welcome the patience He wants to work in my heart, the priority He wants to place on the friends around me that supersedes the importance of whatever activity we’ve gathered to do.
Who we’re with is far more important than what we’re doing. The question is: do the people we’re with know it?
There are things God wants me to do, even commands me to do, and I strive to be diligent with those responsibilities. But do I miss the friends He’s put right next to me because I’m so focused on accomplishing His purposes and responding to His Spirit? Peter listened to Jesus intently, and proceeded to miss the entire point of what He was saying. Loving one another should be my first step of obedience to the Lord, not simply the byproduct of other activities. I’m not supposed to busy myself with other things in service of Him, only to discover along the way that I’m really loving the people I’m with. Loving them is the whole point! Loving people isn’t meant to lubricate the gears of my other efforts for the Lord, but should be the focus of my efforts. After all, they are the Father’s priority, just as Jesus’ friends were His.
Peter skipped right past what Jesus said was a new command He was giving His disciples—to love each other. Eager to follow Jesus and convinced that his commitment was absolute and sure, Peter wanted to know exactly where Jesus was going so that he could go there with Him. Sure, the other ten guys saw Peter’s love for the Lord—it was obvious—but Jesus wanted them to see Peter’s love for them. If Peter would love his friends and love them well, his love for Jesus would become evident both to his friends and to all who witnessed him loving them. And if all eleven of these fellas did that together? Hoo-boy, imagine the impact it would make! THAT is the love-DNA that connects all the parts of the body together.
Paul describes love as an action in 1 Corinthians 13, but it’s so easy to take it as a given within the body of Christ. Since we’re all gathered together to love and worship Jesus, of course we love each other, right? Do I assume that, or do I demonstrate it? Does the ring on Denise’s finger show others that I love her, or is it the way I talk with her, laugh with her, treat her with honor and esteem her? Do I make it plain and obvious to my wife that I love her, or do I just assume she knows it because we’re married? Do others assume I love my kids because they’re in the back seat of the minivan I’m driving, or is it apparent in the way I interact with them, talk with them, and enjoy life with them? Do I demonstrate to my kids that I love them and communicate it faithfully to them, or do I just assume they already know that? Am I laying my life down in my friendships, or only extending myself as far as I’m comfortable? I need to cherish my friends and show them my love, because THAT is how we witness to the world that we are His disciples.
As an avid fan of most things board games, there are some games that really shine at particular player counts and others that don’t work well without the requisite number of players. If my focus is on the game experience, an experience that I want other players to enjoy, then I’ll likely find the right number of players for a particular game…for the benefit of all involved. I might ask you to join me in playing that game, and I’m sure we’d have a wonderful time because who doesn’t like playing board games? (Don’t answer that.) I love you as my friend, and my sincere heart’s desire is for everyone involved in this game experience to enjoy it most thoroughly. Toward that end, I do my very best to assemble the perfect group of people for that particular game.
But inviting you over TO PLAY A GAME with you is very different than inviting you over to play a game WITH YOU. We might not have the perfect player count or an optimum gaming experience, but that’s not the point—YOU are the point. I have friends who are happy to show up for a game or two, but I know their primary motivation isn’t the game, but the chance to hang out together. The game’s just a shared activity. I can always force my kids to play board games with me, but I’m inviting you over for games and coffee because you are my friend. Hopefully you enjoy both of those things and we get to share in them together, but even if we don’t, who we’re with is still more important than what we’re doing. My prayer is that everyone who joins me for coffee, games or both, knows that.
————————————————
I know, this month’s was kinda long. So please forgive me for the brief update here at the end. Tom and I are on an extended hiatus from prayerwalking and trips to DC while he sorts through some health issues. Yes, please keep praying for his healing. Denise shared stories and pictures from her time in Barstow last month and yes, I miss y’all too. Thank you for the love and encouragement, and for those who feel shorted because you only got to see half of our family…we have a guest room, extra air mattresses, plenty of board games and lots of coffee on tap. Just sayin’. Thank you again for all the love shared, finances given, prayers offered and texts sent. We love y’all so much and are blessed to be serving the Lord together with so many of you even many miles away. As always, donations can be given through New Life Fellowship in person or online by designating it “Missions: The Roberts” or something similar (https://newlifebarstow.com/give). We love y’all tons and look forward to more visits in the future. Don’t worry, I’ll supply the games.
<><
The Roberts Family
(Cliff, Denise, Purity, Wisdom, Truth, Justice, Honor and Life)
In those early days of our relationship, we were discovering an important truth: who we’re with is far more important than what we’re doing. Our activities didn’t happen without planning, but sometimes our best plans went awry. I’m sure we talked about deep and important things (or at least they probably felt that way at the time), but while I don’t remember any of the specific words spoken, I do remember the person I spoke with. Being in love with Denise overshadowed every other priority and gave reason and significance to everything we did together. I had planned an excellent date experience, coordinated meals, entertainment, transportation, scheduled activities and the entire day—it was perfect! But the whole point of it was to spend time with Denise and to enjoy her company. Denise planned a general sense of something she thought would be nice to do at some point…and that was about it! No perfectly crafted moments, no itinerary, no maps, no real sense of time or coordinated activities, not even a board game!—just a desire to walk on the beach at sunset. Our day was filled with unexpected events and less-than-ideal circumstances, but the whole point was still the same: to spend time with me and to enjoy my company.
Sometimes, our plans and activities produced perfect days and special memories. Other times our best designs were thwarted by circumstances beyond our control. But again, whether perfectly planned or hopelessly upended, being together was always the point no matter what we ended up doing. When others witness Denise and me walking around a park, sitting on a curb waiting for a tire repair, or braving the bitter beach winds as the sun’s going down and we’re freezing our sand-covered toes off, I hope that what’s most evident is our love for one another. Yes, we might be at Costco stocking up on supplies for our small army at home, but do the people there know we love each other as I’m getting my workout with a shopping crate…er, “cart” while Denise “pit crews” me around the store? Although meat, socks and toilet paper sure seem like our present priorities, do others know we love each other by our words and deeds together?
———————————————
Almost a FOURTH of John’s Gospel focuses on the events in the Upper Room, the final moments Jesus would spend with His disciples before the cross. For five whole chapters, John records Jesus’ words about servanthood, loving each other, the Holy Spirit, abiding in Him, persecution and unity. Some of the Lord’s most consequential and personal words are spoken in these chapters to His closest friends. He also demonstrated for them in detailed personal ways things which no miracle would ever convince them of as effectively. He prayed aloud for them as His friends, washed each of their feet individually, talked with them and answered their questions, encouraging and warning them as He prepared them for what was about to happen. Jesus repeatedly told His disciples that they were His friends (Jn. 15:14-15), commanding them to love one another as friends even as far as laying their lives down for each other (Jn. 15:12-13,17). He could have laid out incredible plans for coordinating their future activities and their way forward as His Church. Instead, He spent the entire time showing them by His own example that the people sitting right next to them were far more important than the many exploits and demonstrations of faith they would eventually do.
John 13:35 has become a “life verse” for me in so many ways, but I’m still learning how to stop responding to Him as Peter did then. Judas has already left, and Jesus tells His remaining eleven friends that He won’t be with them much longer. He’s leaving to a place where they can’t follow Him, but before He goes, He says these words: “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you love one another.” (Jn. 13:34-35) And then Peter immediately asks Him, “Lord, where are You going?” Notice that he doesn’t respond with, “Lord, how do I love John, Thomas, James and the rest?” He doesn’t say, “Lord, show me how to love like You do.” Peter doesn’t even off up a simple, “Love? That’s the big answer?” No, Peter is so focused on what Jesus is about to do, where He’s about to go, that he blows right past the very people his Lord told him to prioritize.
Following Jesus around may have seemed like the most important life mission ever for Peter. After all, didn’t Jesus call His disciples to “Come, follow Me and I will make you fishers of men”? But these were Jesus’ friends, not His servants, and if they would learn to love each other, they would experience His presence in their midst even after He’d ascended into heaven. And beyond that, the world would witness that love and recognize that the intangible quality binding together this community of loving-one-another disciples was Jesus Himself, the One they were following by loving each other. You see, following Jesus is about loving our fellow disciples. And if we miss that, then we’ve stepped right past the focal point and zeroed in on a peripheral instead.
I remember being so convicted by the Lord one Sunday morning years ago. I’d blown past numerous people who wanted to pause and chat for a sec because I had so much service prep and ministry setup to get done. I was so busy “following Jesus” around the church building that I failed to love my friends. I missed it, and I didn’t even realize I was doing it until the Holy Spirit revealed it to me. Living in Tennessee has been eye-opening in that regard as well. It takes like an hour for the bug guy to finish spraying because he can’t stop chatting and sharing stories with me. Neighbors catch me in the yard and the next thing I know I haven’t mowed a blade of grass for the past 10 minutes because we’ve been talking shop the whole time. I invite friends over for board games and we don’t even get the game started on time because we’re catching up on all sorts of things instead of letting me explain the rules. Horror of horrors, I’ve even had friends over and we never got around to playing a game because we’re too busy hanging out! It’s gloriously unnerving and I love the fact that I’m growing in that regard. I can only laugh at myself and welcome the patience He wants to work in my heart, the priority He wants to place on the friends around me that supersedes the importance of whatever activity we’ve gathered to do.
Who we’re with is far more important than what we’re doing. The question is: do the people we’re with know it?
There are things God wants me to do, even commands me to do, and I strive to be diligent with those responsibilities. But do I miss the friends He’s put right next to me because I’m so focused on accomplishing His purposes and responding to His Spirit? Peter listened to Jesus intently, and proceeded to miss the entire point of what He was saying. Loving one another should be my first step of obedience to the Lord, not simply the byproduct of other activities. I’m not supposed to busy myself with other things in service of Him, only to discover along the way that I’m really loving the people I’m with. Loving them is the whole point! Loving people isn’t meant to lubricate the gears of my other efforts for the Lord, but should be the focus of my efforts. After all, they are the Father’s priority, just as Jesus’ friends were His.
Peter skipped right past what Jesus said was a new command He was giving His disciples—to love each other. Eager to follow Jesus and convinced that his commitment was absolute and sure, Peter wanted to know exactly where Jesus was going so that he could go there with Him. Sure, the other ten guys saw Peter’s love for the Lord—it was obvious—but Jesus wanted them to see Peter’s love for them. If Peter would love his friends and love them well, his love for Jesus would become evident both to his friends and to all who witnessed him loving them. And if all eleven of these fellas did that together? Hoo-boy, imagine the impact it would make! THAT is the love-DNA that connects all the parts of the body together.
Paul describes love as an action in 1 Corinthians 13, but it’s so easy to take it as a given within the body of Christ. Since we’re all gathered together to love and worship Jesus, of course we love each other, right? Do I assume that, or do I demonstrate it? Does the ring on Denise’s finger show others that I love her, or is it the way I talk with her, laugh with her, treat her with honor and esteem her? Do I make it plain and obvious to my wife that I love her, or do I just assume she knows it because we’re married? Do others assume I love my kids because they’re in the back seat of the minivan I’m driving, or is it apparent in the way I interact with them, talk with them, and enjoy life with them? Do I demonstrate to my kids that I love them and communicate it faithfully to them, or do I just assume they already know that? Am I laying my life down in my friendships, or only extending myself as far as I’m comfortable? I need to cherish my friends and show them my love, because THAT is how we witness to the world that we are His disciples.
As an avid fan of most things board games, there are some games that really shine at particular player counts and others that don’t work well without the requisite number of players. If my focus is on the game experience, an experience that I want other players to enjoy, then I’ll likely find the right number of players for a particular game…for the benefit of all involved. I might ask you to join me in playing that game, and I’m sure we’d have a wonderful time because who doesn’t like playing board games? (Don’t answer that.) I love you as my friend, and my sincere heart’s desire is for everyone involved in this game experience to enjoy it most thoroughly. Toward that end, I do my very best to assemble the perfect group of people for that particular game.
But inviting you over TO PLAY A GAME with you is very different than inviting you over to play a game WITH YOU. We might not have the perfect player count or an optimum gaming experience, but that’s not the point—YOU are the point. I have friends who are happy to show up for a game or two, but I know their primary motivation isn’t the game, but the chance to hang out together. The game’s just a shared activity. I can always force my kids to play board games with me, but I’m inviting you over for games and coffee because you are my friend. Hopefully you enjoy both of those things and we get to share in them together, but even if we don’t, who we’re with is still more important than what we’re doing. My prayer is that everyone who joins me for coffee, games or both, knows that.
————————————————
I know, this month’s was kinda long. So please forgive me for the brief update here at the end. Tom and I are on an extended hiatus from prayerwalking and trips to DC while he sorts through some health issues. Yes, please keep praying for his healing. Denise shared stories and pictures from her time in Barstow last month and yes, I miss y’all too. Thank you for the love and encouragement, and for those who feel shorted because you only got to see half of our family…we have a guest room, extra air mattresses, plenty of board games and lots of coffee on tap. Just sayin’. Thank you again for all the love shared, finances given, prayers offered and texts sent. We love y’all so much and are blessed to be serving the Lord together with so many of you even many miles away. As always, donations can be given through New Life Fellowship in person or online by designating it “Missions: The Roberts” or something similar (https://newlifebarstow.com/give). We love y’all tons and look forward to more visits in the future. Don’t worry, I’ll supply the games.
<><
The Roberts Family
(Cliff, Denise, Purity, Wisdom, Truth, Justice, Honor and Life)
This amazing young man turned 17 in June! And yes, he does do MANY other things besides play video games.
But when he plays, he’s playing them in style now!
But when he plays, he’s playing them in style now!
See, when girls go on outings, you get incredibly awesome pictures like this.
When boys hang out, it’s usually just pictures of wounds, bugs and video game screenshots.
When boys hang out, it’s usually just pictures of wounds, bugs and video game screenshots.
Hey look! Friends…and games!
The girls think Christian looks photoshopped in this picture.
I told them they’re just short. Let the audience decide!
I told them they’re just short. Let the audience decide!